The Life We Live

.:*Okay, so my road trip was fun, and i think i still need to catch up on sleep, but w/e... and my roommate got engaged today!!! yay!!!... homecoming weekend isn't to exciting, so i am going to write about the kids in my book called The Life We Live...

David and Elsie are the children of Micah and Larissa Nicholson... Larissa and her husband Micah were both from abusive home lives... today's question how does that effect their children???

David, he is the older of the two and he is quiet... when other kids have grandparents in for grandparent's day at school, he feels insecure, he has no grandparents... his fathers parent's are either in jail, or disowned by the family, and his mother's parents are both dead... for being a ten year old, he dwells on this all, it affects his social life and his group of friends. he doesn't really like to talk to anyone unless they are family... his favorite times are at home sitting with his father playing shoots and ladders...

Elsie, is the youngest of Micah and Larissa's children (she is eight)... she could careless about where her grandparents are, she is a social butterfly and all that matters to her is that her parents love her, and that makes her happy. when grandparents day roles around, she tells kids that they live out of state and they only come up for holidays... so unlike her brother, she is in denial and never mentions her grandparents unless asked, and even then she only responds with they're good...

wow, looks like they both take this pretty harshly, how do the parents deal with this...

They deal with david by trying to get him into sports to get to meet other kids, they send him to camp and nothing seems to work... they have discussed therapy, but they want to see if the pastor can help him first, and not anti- depressants that the therapist will give him... if this fails, they will though...

They deal with elsie in a whole different way... they try to get her to stay at home and not ignore their questions about why she is so happy... any time she is forced to talk to her parents about her emotions, she yawns and says she is tired and wants to go to bed... she completely avoids anything that will force her to talk about her grandparents... she makes stuff up and invents people... this hurts her parents, but she doesn't care, she likes these imaginary ppl and they can't change her...
Now that we have dissected that family... now it is time for Caleb and Betsy Nicholson
Caleb came from the family of abuse, while his wife was the poster child for a perfect life... how does this affect their children?

Bonnie is the oldest of Caleb and Betsy's daughters, she is an artists of sorts, a quiet one like her cousin David, and awkward as any pre- teen (she is twelve), but what is really troubling about this child is that she is always writing about a happy ending she'll never have... she has one set of grandparents, her mother's parents, but she longs to know of her dad's parents, she wants to know what they are like in order to be different from them... she fears that without knowing them, she can never know herself... she wants to talk about it, but doesn't want to hurt her father's feelings...

Marcie is a funny, and obnoxious little kid... (she is nine), she never asks about her grandparents, like Elsie, and frankly she could care less, she has friends and a family she knows loves her... when confronted with the fact that her father's parents aren't in her life, she doesn't fret, she knows where they are, like the rest of them, and from that she knows how not to act... she is very optimistic and out going, she is the most normal, but sometimes those who act normal aren't always... she battles with suicidal urges, and at a young age, this is potential dangerous... her fun times are thinking up ways to die...
Wow, how do the parents handel this...

With Bonnie, they tell her to talk to them, they will answer as honestly as possible, but when she gets afraid to ask, for she doesn't want to offend her father, she just mumbles and says forget it, and she retreats to writing her poetry...she has friends, but they aren't close, so she just keeps her emotions inside and vents on her pillow, which she punches and throws...

With Marcie, they immediatly took her to therapy when a teacher showed her a report she did in class, about different ways she would like to die... there was no yelling screaming, or angriness on Betsy and Caleb's part, but there were tears... she is now on anti- depressants too, which isn't good for a nine year old, so they have to watch her behavior and make sure that everything in life flows good, and everyday, she has to write in a journal to share with the shrink... she also must talk to her parents for a half hour everyday about how she feels... and because of this, Bonnie feels like her problems are insignificant, when really it is all the same thing...

Wow... these families are messed, but that ain't even the half of it... what goes through the parents mind, how are they affected by their pasts???

Larissa... saw her father beat her mother when she was five... her parents didn't know it, until she started reliving it in her dreams, and even then, they ignored it and said she imagined the whole thing... her parent/ mother/ adult figure in her life was a teacher of hers, Mrs. Mary, who knew of every trouble she had... her father a drunk, who beat her mother in fron t of her and her little brother Alexander, aka, little Allie, her mother who supported her father's habbits by working two jobs, worked herself to death, and after she died, Larissa and her brother both got jobs to support themselves, with their father stealing their money on occassion to buy more drinks... he drank to much one night and killed himself and some one else drunk driving... larissa went to college, and Alex moved in with his friends... every now and then she will relive back then, she some times buries herself in her work as to not think about it... she copes, and no suicidal urges... good... she is very into her religion, christianity... she has done well for herself!!!!

Micah... well, he has become a youth pastor, and has created a ministry in church that reaches out to kids in abusive enviroments, and lets them have a safe place to go to if they need some one to talk to... he copes with his past, by helping those children who need his help... he sent his father to jail, where he died, after testifying against him in court for abusing himself and his mother after his brother left for college... he doesn't let the past bother him, he embraces it and it makes him stronger, and he helps Larissa through her tough times of remebering, and is there for her 24/7 as should be... they have grown stronger through all this, and are still in love, but much more so than when they first met...

Caleb... is much like his brother, but he has doubts that he will be a good parent and fears he might regress at some time and become like his father, whom he sent to jail with his brother... through all this, he leans on Betsy and together they face his problems and scars and fears...

Betsy... through all three of them that have gone through this childhood, she is there to listen, to smile, to joke, to complain about her petty issues with humor and most of all to be a friend a confidant... over the kids issues, they all bond and help each other, giving advice, words of encouragement, and bible versus to remember GOD is always there...

No testing has overtaken you that is not common to everyone. GOD is faithful and he will not let you be tested beyond your strength, but with the testing, he will also provide the way out, so that you may be able to endure it... 1 Corinthians 10:13

My favorite verse, which will be a theme in this book, and that no matter what troubles they go through, as a family and with GOD, they can over take anything!!!*:.